How To Come Out

What Does It Mean to "Come Out"?
Coming out is the process of personally accepting your sexuality and disclosing it to yourself, family, friends and others. Coming out is different for every person. Some experience a lot of pain and anguish while for others acceptance is simple. You may experience fear, doubt, loneliness, anger and even depression. That's why it is good to surround yourself with others that may be going through the same transition or who have already come out. They can be a great support network.

Before you come out, take time to evaluate your current situation and your future goals. The below tips can help:

• Coming Out Step-by-Step
• Ways You Shouldn't Come Out
• Coming Out FAQ's

After coming out to yourself the next step can be quite difficult: Sharing your sexuality with your loved ones and friends. One of the overriding fears of coming out is the fear of rejection from those we love. You may wonder if your family or friends will stop loving you. Some family and friends have a hard time accepting a gay loved one, while others are extremely supportive. (Read Will My Family Stop Loving Me?)

Often times coming out goes well, as evident in these coming out stories. But just in case things go sour, here is an article that can help you through the tough times:

• After Coming Out: Dealing With Family Rejection

Life is often too complicated to predict. You may not have realized your were gay until after you had kids. Or, you may have been afraid to come out beforehand. Now, you find yourself in a situation where you are ready to come out and live out in the open.

Coming out to kids doesn't have to be a delicate process. Children are much more perceptive than we give them credit for. However, before coming out consider these tips on coming out to kids.

Coming out to your spouse can be quite difficult, given the relationships you built and the life you shared together. Too many men still live on the down low. This scenario can be devastating to your wife. She deserves an honest husband and you deserve a life free of hiding, hidden desire and pain. Use these resources to help you come out to your spouse:

• Top 5 Love Answers for Gay Married Men

You won't know how your wife will react to the news until you take that step. Some wives agree to stay with their husbands after they come out. These situations are called mixed marriages. Learn more about mixed marriages here:

• Mixed Marriages: When One Partner Is Gay

John won't stop talking about his new fiancé. Andre jokes about his wife's new tattoo. Eric repeatedly complains about his nagging girlfriend. And this is all at work! There your sit quiet, avoiding every social conversation, since your gossip would be, not about a woman, but another man. In order for you to share in the man-to-man pow wow, you have to come out. But are you ready? Read the pros and cons of coming out at work.

There are some federal laws in process that can help make your workplace a more comfortable environment. Read about:

• Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA)
• Pension Protection Act

But, lets say you're not gay, but your boss is. Should you pry into his private life?

• Respect Your Gay Boss' Privacy

Personally, reading other people's coming out stories gave me the courage to come out. The same can be true for you. Read these coming out stories then help others by, sharing your coming out story.

Should you come out to your doctor? There are specific health issues gay men should be concerned about. Some health care providers are more gay-friendly than others. Find out how to find a gay-affirmative health care provider and decide when it's the best time to tell your doctor about your sexuality in Coming Out To Your Doctor.

You suspect your kid of being gay, but how do you talk to him or her about it? How you handle their coming out to you is directly linked to their future well being. They need your support during this difficult time. It can help them build confidence and make better, more healthy, decisions. Take a proactive approach and talk to your kids. Help them help themselves. Here is one mom's story about when her son came out to her. Read A Mom Shares Her Son's Coming Out Story.

Whether you suspect your husband is gay or he's just come out to you, this resource is for you.

Do you suspect that your husband has a secret life on the side? Read these tips:

• When Your Man Is On The Down Low

You may also want to read about other women's experiences with gay husbands in the Gay Life forum. Here is a discussion going on right now:

• "I've been married for a little over a month now and I've had concerns that my husband might not be "into" me. it started with him spending a few hours a day on the computer which has now progressed to him spending up to 8 hours a day online..." Read more